6 Tips On How To Be A Good Mentor
Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash
For several years, I have been actively engaging as a mentor for students and first time entrepreneurs. After the ups and downs of building my own business, H, from the ground up - I felt compelled to help and assist aspiring entrepreneurs with their own startup journey.
I already knew that mentorship was a key element to my own success and that the individuals I looked to for advice, guidance and support played an integral role in my decision making and growth of my company. Considering that I found such solace and comfort in having a mentor, I wanted to find a way to give back to the growing community of entrepreneurs in New York City and beyond.
In truth, I have found that being a mentor is not only a great way to share the knowledge I have accumulated throughout the years, but that the experience itself is incredibly rewarding and invaluable. Helping someone visualize and realize their professional goals and dreams is indescribable to say the least. And, seeing that person thrive due to that small push you gave them - allows you to be constantly reminded why you chase and pursue your own entrepreneurial passions.
What Does It Mean To Be a Mentor?
If you’re thinking about being a mentor, but aren’t quite sure where to start, I can attest that it’s easier than you think. Mentors come in all forms and serve different purposes in people’s lives. A mentor is essentially someone with experience in their field and a bank of knowledge that can be utilized to help and guide individuals who are just starting out.
But, mentors do not only exist in professional settings. A mentor can be present in your social life, love life, mental health journey, financial life - the list is actually endless.
In short, a mentor has a sense of “seniority” - they have the years of experience, insight and ability to pass what they have learned onto you because they have succeeded in their pursuits.
Examples of mentors can include:
A professional mentor that works in the magazine industry as an editor and works with college graduates who are pursuing a career in publishing.
A mentor that focuses on building personal relationships for people who are seeking advice on how to make friends as an adult.
A mentor that gives insight on financial independence. They could be a professional in the banking industry or have just made the right investments over time and want to share their knowledge with their mentees.
As you can see, a mentor is someone who aims to guide and help their mentees through significant milestones in their lives. From professional, personal to financial, a mentor is a vital asset for anyone looking to achieve a higher level of success.
Guide To Being a Good Mentor - 6 Tips To Get You Started
So, now that we know what a mentor does, let’s discuss what it takes to be a good mentor. Here is my guide to being a good mentor with 6 tips to get you started.
Communication Is Key
Perhaps the most important element of being a mentor is honest and open communication with your mentee. As a mentor, someone has come to you because they believe you have the knowledge to help them move forward with their life. They trust your judgement, opinion and the decisions you have made that have landed you where you are today.
Therefore, if the relationship of mentor and mentee is highly focused on what you can share - then, you need to ensure that the way you communicate makes your mentee feel comfortable, safe and respected.
Essentially, make sure that when you’re communicating your thoughts and feelings to your mentee, that you take into consideration their level of experience in the field. Don’t be fancy with terms they haven’t yet learned and don’t talk down to them because they are your junior. Instead, speak with a conversational tone and make the information you are sharing as digestible as possible.
You’re going to spend a lot of time talking through problems, ideas and goals with your mentee - so, it’s highly recommended that you put your communication skills at the top of the list.
Be Actively Present
The next tip for being a good mentor is to ensure that when you are working with your mentee, you are actively present. So, put your phone aside and be in the moment. This isn’t the time to be checking emails, answering texts or taking phone calls. If you’re going to work with a mentee, your schedule needs to be blocked off for this session.
In order to foster and cultivate a meaningful relationship, you want to show that the time you spend working together is of value to you. That the work you put in during your session is meant to help the mentee achieve their goals as effectively as possible. As a mentor, if your head is somewhere else or you’re worrying about your own business - you are losing the opportunity to truly make a difference in your mentee’s life.
So, make sure to hold the calls, turn off notifications and just be present for your working session.
Don’t Be Afraid To Give Critique
Although a mentor’s goal is to help their mentee grow and achieve, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to sugar coat the truth. If a mentee is truly serious about their future, they will understand that constructive feedback is a part of the process. So, as the mentor - don’t be afraid to give critique.
Now, when I say critique, I don’t mean that I want you to scold or embarrass your mentee in any way. Even if their idea seems trivial to you, I can assure you it’s highly important to them. Therefore, find ways to be honest and to the point without hurting their feelings.
I’m not saying you need to hold their hand or treat them like a child. In fact, you should do the opposite. You should give them the space to think for themselves and allow them to make decisions as an adult would. Yet, they can only do this if the critique you give back to them is of value and builds them up, instead of completely tearing them down.
Phrases that can fuel positive critique include:
I understand your idea and I like your drive for it, but I think we need to rethink the focus and purpose of your mission
You’re on the right track, but there’s something missing. Let’s break it down piece by piece to evaluate.
From what I know about you, I don’t think that would be the best professional move. But, that’s the point of this session, I want to help you find the opportunity that is the best fit.
With critiques, following up with a statement of intent and purpose is the only way to go. You want to give your mentee the feedback they seek all while helping them pivot in the right direction of their goals.
Learn To Listen
Since you already know that communication is highly important in your mentor/mentee relationship, this tip should be pretty self explanatory. Learn how to listen to what your mentee has to say.
Communication is a two way street. And as much as you express your thoughts to your mentee, they will want to follow up and continue the conversation with you by asking questions, looking for clarification, offering an alternative point of view or simply accepting the knowledge they have been given.
Either way, you don’t want to hog the conversation. You want to open the dialogue in your sessions and know that your mentee will want a chance to be heard and ask questions. The mark of a bad mentor is someone who makes a teaching moment all about themselves.
Ditch the selfish act and realize that being a mentor is all about being selfless. Put aside any qualms you may have about letting someone else speak and realize that a good mentor listens to what their mentee is saying.
You may be surprised to realize that while you’re helping them perceive their life in a different way, your mentee may just teach you a thing or two about your own experience.
Practice Empathy & Compassion
This should go without saying, but no one likes a mean mentor. So, if you’re going to showcase leadership qualities to your mentee, you better believe that you need to lead with empathy and compassion.
In the professional aspect of mentorship, talking about building your career, business and achieving your goals can often be difficult. And, if your mentee has experienced ongoing hardship in their lives, it can make it that much harder for them to express themselves without getting emotional. Empathy as a mentor requires that you understand what your mentee is going through and show them support.
Compassion allows you to visualize this relationship as a human to human experience. No matter if you’re talking about business and money, remember that at the core, the professional and personal tribulations we face are deeply personal to us. Therefore, being a mentor that leads with kindness, support and positive reinforcements - is always going to win.
So, as a mentor find common ground rooted in empathy and compassion. Because yes, it is as simple as being kind, caring and wanting a life of happiness for your mentee.
Let Your Mentee Make The Final Decision
The final tip for being a good mentor is to let your mentee make the final decision.
You’ve spent hours with your mentee, helping them kickstart their professional pursuits. You’ve invested time, effort and energy into crafting a relationship with this person and you have become invested in their future. With so much skin in the game, it can be hard to pull back and remove yourself from the equation. But, in order for the mentee to truly move forward in their lives, they need to make the final decision about what they intend to do from here on out.
In short, no matter how dedicated you are to seeing your mentee grow and succeed - you have to remember that it’s their life and they need to be the decider of what they will do with it. You’ve done your job by giving them guidance, providing insight and endless encouragement. But, you can’t force them to choose what you want them to do. And, you can’t be upset if they go against your guidance and pave a way of their own.
Whatever your mentee decides has nothing to do with your impact on them. Instead, it speaks volumes about their confidence to be able to make a decision and chase after it. Isn’t that the whole point of being a mentor anyways? Giving your mentee the freedom and self assurance to go out and achieve everything they have ever dreamed of. Sounds about right to me.
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So, there we have it - 6 tips on how to be a good mentor. Did you find this discussion to be helpful? Let me know what you think by leaving me a comment about your own experience as a mentor or mentee. And if you’re a budding entrepreneur looking for a professional mentor, you can always send me an email at james@thehhub.com to chat about your goals & future.